I guess you could say I am cynical. To me, a lot of people can be. It's not something that just happens. However for me, I think it took one event in particular to make me cynical. The year was 2011...
I don't know what it is. It's that jaw dropping moment. When your heart sinks to your stomach. When you lose your breath and not because you've been swooned. That point in time when you hear something and you don't know how to react. It's the point when you don't want to give up believing or having faith in someone or something but you can't help but be filled with hatred, misery, sadness and distrust.
The word hallelujah is often used during a moment of worship or rejoice. I cannot say that I haven't found one thing to rejoice about. Every day that I wake up and can walk and speak and blink and feel and breathe is a time to rejoice. But as much as I appreciate God for making my days unbelievably happy and my friends and family amazing, it saddens me that I could be cynical about people.
Joe and I were talking about relationships. He's a relationship person through and through. Personally, I like Joe. Heck! I love Joe when he's not in a relationship. He is so much more fun. But to me, relationships... What do they mean? What does it mean? "The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected." This, is bullshit. They are messy and pointless. People can try and share emotions for one another but there will always be that person who does not fully trust the other. Emotions will fly and one person will be way ahead of another. Show me a relationship that wasn't shaky. Most relationships end up in divorce or break ups these days. Even the people who have been together for long periods of time have broken up and gotten back together. But why go through the heartbreak? Why go through the fights and the likes and dislikes when you can be friends with everyone and just have fun?
I guess not everyone sees it the way I see it. Maybe I am cynical.
